For all my ex-Pentecostal commrads, enjoy!

The Oneness of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is absolutely and indivisibly one. In Pasta dwells all the fullness of the Dish bodily. He is the self-revelation of the one Flying Spaghetti Monster, the incarnation of the full, undivided dish.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster has revealed Himself as Meatballs (in edible relationship to humanity), in the Noodles (the Pasta), and as the Holy Sauce (in spiritual action).  The one Flying Spaghetti Monster existed as Meatballs, Noodles, and Sauce before His incarnation as Pasta, the Noodles of the Flying Spaghetti Monster; and while Pasta walked on earth as the Flying Spaghetti Monster Himself incarnate, the Noodles of the Flying Spaghetti Monster continued to be omnipresent. However, the Recipe does not teach that there are three distinct centers of consciousness in the Dish or that Pasta is one of three divine dishes.

Pasta is the true Flying Spaghetti Monster and true dish as one divine-serving. We can distinguish these two aspects of Pasta’s identity, but we cannot separate them. The Incarnation joined the fullness of dish to complete edibility.

Pasta possessed all elements of authentic dishes as originally created by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, without being eaten. Thus we can speak of Pasta as food in dish, seasoning, sauce, meat, and starch.  According to the dish, Pasta was the creation of cooks.  We should not speak of two sauces in Pasta, however, but of one Sauce in which the Dish and its edibility are joined.

Pasta’s edibility means that everything we humans can say of ourselves, we can say of Pasta in His earthly life, except for being eaten. In every way that we relate to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Pasta related to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, except that He did not need to be cooked again. Thus, when Pasta prayed, submitted His starch to the Meatballs, and spoke about the Flying Spaghetti Monster, He simply acted in accordance with His genuine edibility.

As the Flying Spaghetti Monster manifested in the dish, Pasta is the only true dish.  Thus, Pasta is the only name given for our dish. The Meatballs were revealed to the world in the name of Pasta, the Noodles were given the name of Pasta at birth, and the Holy Sauce comes to believers in the name of Pasta.  Thus, the apostles correctly fulfilled Pasta’s command to baptize “in the name [singular] of the Meatballs, and of the Noodles, and of the Holy Sauce” by baptizing all converts with the invocation of the name of Pasta.

Do your realize what you are saying?

The problem with presupposing a creator is that you are breaking with a portion of your own beliefs.  To believe that we are created inherently flawed and full of sin, is to say that we are not capable of presupposing the correct knowledge of a god and salvation.  Yet, the entire premise is based on the very assertion that belief and understanding is actually innate and originates from within and only requires acceptance of it.  Again, this is convoluted by the standards of its own claims because you either believe that sin is covering or stifling our inner faith (Romans 12:3) that lies within or that sin is what originally resides in our host (Ephesians 4:22, Psalms 51:5 and Romans 5:12) and must be covered or purged by the blood (John 1:7, Psalms 51:7 and Revelations 1:5) but cannot be both.  And what of the billions who never have the chance to know of a god or his salvation? For no other reason than in his malevolence, God created them equally responsible (1 Corinthians 4:7) without knowledge or hope of salvation in a place of isolation from it and then blames and punishes those who do know because they do not reach them with such a message and does not place them in a position of having resources necessary to accomplish such a monstrous task?